I remember the day I started Weigh Down...I started watching the videos on youtube of the "Weigh Down Home Series" and God immediately started dealing with my heart. Before I could even get through them all I was laying on the floor sobbing and begging God to forgive me. You see God took the blinders off my eyes that day! He showed me what the root of my SIN of overeating was! It was GREED! Oh how it hurt when I realized how Greedy I had been for all those years! I realized how it was all my fault that I was overweight and how it was all my fault I was suffering with severe acid reflux, I had to confess to God I had done this to myself, it was not him doing it to me! It was hard but I was so broken and I had to face the truth! I was the only one responsible for my sin! I blamed my mother, my family, God, but it was me. No one ever force fed me and no matter how much I said "I dont know why I am overweight I dont eat much at all" deep down I knew it was a lie. A lie to myself and to others. Once the truth came out of my mouth, the confession to God, "Oh God Forgive Me! Please Lord! I did this to myself, I have so much Greed in my heart, I want to be Free and Obey You" that's when IT happened!!! God wiped away my tears! He told me He forgave me!!! He told me to stop overeating, to stay within his boundries and He would give me the Freedom! That was it, I never overate again and that was December 19, 2010! Now 155 lbs of Greed is gone from my body and my acid reflux has been healed since day 1! Praise GOD!!
God has been working on me so much since that day! He has also set me free from dieting, unforgiveness, anger, and alot more. He is constantly peeling back the layers helping me overcome sin...even sin I didn't realize I had. Yes, I still mess up and sin not on purpose but I am by no means perfect, or even close, but God is working on me and teaching me how to let go. See the difference now is I dont want to sin, I want to obey! I want to please God and I know when he brings sin to our attention (and this is the best part) He gives us the ability to overcome. You see its not me doing anything but saying "YES GOD" the rest is ALL HIM!! He is taking away the desire! He is setting me Free! Not Me! But He that is within me! I can't take any credit because it's all Him! I know he wants surrender and submission from me, that's all it takes and he will give me the rest of what I need. I have found freedom from sin is so much better than sin. Sin is heavy, guilty, its like the weight of the world on our shoulders. Freedom is easy, guilt free, and light!
Sometimes I get my feelings hurt because people can't see it for what it is. I get alot of ridicule for not running with the crowd. For example when people are all eating around me and I am not hungry I get "Why don't you eat something, it wont hurt to eat a little" or "Oh she wouldn't dare eat that because she is worried about gaining weight" or "You are too skinny you need to eat" or just looks from people who assume I am judging them for the way they are eating. Those are all Lies from satan! I am not judging anyone. I am simply Obeying what God has told me to do. I can't eat unless I am truly hungry because God told me not to. I won't sin against him on purpose for anyone. It's not a vanity thing, its an obedience thing. It's not about an outward appearance its about a heart change. For me God said "Only eat within my boundries" so to eat outside of that is sin or direct disobedience. I know people dont see it that way, but GOD showed me he sees it that way and he told me to stop.
I know I can't worry about what anyone thinks, I have to answer to God for my life so I have to obey no matter what or who comes against me. Everytime I hurt, I run to God and there is no better place. I can feel his love, his concern, and he wipes away the tears!
Psalm 116:8For thou hast delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.
